I’ve wanted to write a post for a few days now with so many thoughts in my head, now I’m sitting with the laptop and my mind has gone blank. Always the way isn’t it?
I’ve been more relaxed than I thought I would be over the last few days, certainly more than last cycle, maybe as I know I ovulated last month so it’s just a matter of monitoring when and catching the right time.
I am even more surrounded and I’m getting so envious of my friends who are pregnant and of course I’m so happy for them, it was the same before I got engaged and I was surrounded by left hands and diamond rings, flashed in happy smiling photos on Facebook in exotic locations; all by women younger than me which of course made it worse. I’m now aching to be pregnant, but of course mother nature has us on a calendar with this. It’s not the same as snapping your fingers and you’re having a baby, I’m sure that there are hundreds of women who would love for it to be that easy. Again, I’m surrounded by bumps and scan photos on Facebook by those same women that flashed their diamond rings, again all younger than me.
So I’ve analysed my data from last month, and found that the ClearBlue Ovulation tracker which I was using showed a smiling face on Saturday 11th Feb, which according to the instructions would mean that I ovulated 24-36 hours after then, our last BD day was actually Wednesday the 8th; so it was just too far away from ovulation. This month I think we have the timing in the bag. This month we are using the ClearBlue Dual Hormone indicator; so I will get an idea a few days before getting the smiling face. I just hope it increases the chances of falling pregnant this month. If it doesn’t happen I’m going to be realistic and visit my GP straight away.
I also have a another item we are trying this month as last month we were using KY as we always have done, however I have read that although it is not a spermicide, it can damage the sperm. So this month we have opted for a more friendly version and found Fertile Check Fertility Gel, we’ve tried it already and it’s fantastic, I think I prefer it and it certainly helped us get in the mood. The applicators make it very easy to use and certainly not as messy as KY in one tube. I do advise lying down when you apply as it is thinner than other gels.
I would recommend it although at the moment I would not say I recommend it as a fertility aid until I fall pregnant, even then what’s to say this was the contributing factor to falling pregnant (if/when). I guess it’s giving you peace of mind know that it’s not harming the sperm so that’s good in my book. It is quite pricey though, in the UK I’ve not seen any others in stores, in Boots it is currently £12.49 for 6 applications, so depending on how many times you need it it would be one month supply.
I feel full of hope at the moment, I still feel like I have the control. We know when we are going to BD this week although, as I work shifts it’s not very convenient that I finish work late all week. The lighter nights have given us both a bit more energy and knowing where we went wrong last month has helped too.
There is a lot to be said about being hopeful. Being positive. I am an optimist, I do see the world in a ‘Glass is half full’ way, I like to see the world in rose tinted glasses. It doesn’t mean that I am not realistic though, it all comes down to a test at the end of the cycle, it will be either positive or negative; yes or no; pregnant or not pregnant. I do think it is possible to be an optimist and a realist or at least be an optimist with an element of being a realist. Is it better to stay hopeful and be disappointed when you discover a negative result; or is it better to think the worst, be stressed something is not going to happen and if you get a negative not be surprised but be be more upset?
I don’t think I will ever change, I was often scolded at school for day dreaming, I still do day dream and I often don’t even know where my train of thought starts or finishes.
I’m always thinking positive though.