My rose tinted glass is forever half full.


I’m half way through the two week wait and desperately trying to distract myself from looking up symptoms on the internet. Mainly as last month this got me absolutely no where. I have however had different symptoms to last month;  I’ve had little to no creamy CM and egg white CM has had tiny flecks of red/pink in it for a few days. My boobs have been not sore, but sensitive and not constant, more like intermittent. I am very much the opposite to last month, which I felt excited; I couldn’t wait to take a test and was counting down the days. This month, I’m almost scared to test early because I don’t want a false result. Although I am aware that this could be another negative, I find myself daring to believe this could be a positive.

In the meantime I have many questions swimming around my head. Could any of the activities that I am doing have an effect on implantation? Could the coffee I am drinking have any adverse effects? Are the twinges I am feeling anything to worry about or is it just bad wind?

Yes! They are mostly ridiculous, I keep wondering that if I am like this now, am I going to worry more about being pregnant? I hope not; I’ve read so many stories and tweets by women that have gone through the heartache of miscarriage. This in turn has me worried if any actions during very very early pregnancy can prevent the development of the egg.

A close friend of mine just had her baby, she is beating herself up that she isn’t the same as other mums in her pre-natal group, she had a c-section so is not able to drive and is feeling isolated also. I’ve helped her out a few times and she seems to think I’d have this in the bag and I’d cope really well; mainly as I was able to get the car seat in and I knew about the mini steriliser for dummys. Thing is, I don’t know everything or anything, I certainly didn’t before all my friends started having babies. I just seem to pick things up, little bits here and there. I am so lucky that I am very close to my sister-in-law, she always seems like she is fully in control, although she says she has no idea what she’s doing. Doesn’t every mum think that though? I don’t think I’ve met a first time mum that hasn’t thought that at some point? Surely it’s the same when you are trying to get pregnant for the first time.

It’s very new territory, I don’t know how it feels, or should feel. Google, although is useful is also a hindrance.

So here are my rules to myself:

Rule Number 1 – When reading information, remember that all women are different.

Rule Number 2 – Stop Googling random symptoms.

Rule Number 3 – Remember rule number 2.

Rule number 4 – Don’t test early. It is what it is.

Rule Number 5 – Think positive, because……… you never know.

 

*Featured image (Getty Images/STYLECASTER)

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2 thoughts on “My rose tinted glass is forever half full.

  1. Great blog post. I’m trying not to think about it now until it happens. But that’s totally impossible. I’m currently wondering about implantation bleeding as it’s all weird this time and not “normal”. But then what is normal??! Fingers crossed for your positive result.

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