Words that resonate while you are with your parent friends and their offspring are being challenging. This particularly happens if you mention that you are tired or you are having a tough day. Almost as if you are not allowed to have tiring tough days unless you have kids.
They mean this is a lighthearted way but they cut like a knife as I am looking forward to so many of these challenges and I’m not going into this blindsided.
They may have seen photos of our walks, trips to town, picnics by the beach, drinks in the pub; but what they don’t see is me getting up at 6am to take my temperature, or peeing in a cup to do my ovulation tests every day, checking my fluids every time I visit the bathroom and I most of all they’ve not seen me sobbing on the bathroom floor because my period arrived that morning.
I’ve started drinking Raspberry Leaf tea, to see if this helps, I’m looking at other home remedies and reflexology sessions, I’m not drinking alcohol, I’ve stopped drinking caffeine. I’m choosing types of exercise carefully, I’m taking daily vitamins and logging everything my body does, all in the hope that my body is able to grow a human.
They may want everything we have right now as they miss their freedom, they miss going to bars; having lunch with two hands; not spending 20 mins just to put their coat on in the morning. They might miss being able to go out without needing to arrange child care, or choose somewhere to eat because of the food and not because they have a soft play area. They probably miss leaving the house without a pushchair, change-bag, food, drink, snacks, toys…. or meeting friends and being able to hold a conversation. All this is of course frustrating for them, I would never take that away, but please.
I just want to be clear and say to them just remember this swings in roundabouts; you have your child. You have something you love more than anything in the world. You have the gaze of their eyes when they wake up on the morning, they come to you to seek comfort, they hold your hand and despite all the struggles you love them.
Please remember that, because although you may want to do everything we are doing, you have everything we want in the world and we have not been able to achieve it as easily as you did.