All in My Head?

I may not yet be pregnant but in my head I’m already a mum… I know I’m not actually a mum, I mean I’m not delusional but emotionally… I’m there. 

We have already chosen a name of a little girl; not quite there on a boy but I’m sure we’ll think if something.  I’ve already cleared most things out of the room, we know what furniture we want to choose to go in there; two bags of clothes have been donated from a close friend who knows were trying. I have imagined how I’m going to decorate the room, all the toys and photo frames, lighting and the chair I’ll sit in when I’m nursing our baby. 

I can picture us walking around the block to get them to sleep, walking around the house when they won’t sleep, the little bath in our own bath and the little towel they’ll snuggle up in to get dry. 

I know how I want to decorate the house at Christmas and where their stocking will hang for them on Christmas morning and how exciting it’ll be with just the twinkling fairy lights lit. 

I know it’s going to be hard; I know it’s going to be challenging and it’ll change our lives.  I know there’s going to be days where I won’t get a minutes peace and will have to deal with that on very little sleep. I know my emotions will be a roller coaster and my body will never be the same again. I know that there’ll be nappy explosions, fevers and vomit. I know our house will not look like it does now and I also know how much lego hurts when you stand on it! 

I can’t wait though. 

Bring it on. 

Fingers crossed for cycle 4 as always… thinking positive.  

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2 thoughts on “All in My Head?

  1. Good luck. I know this feeling. Imagination runs wild and it a warm fuzzy feeling. But I’m also sad, because I know that dream can be dashed and now my journey is tinged with sadness and anxiety. I wish will all my heart that this is your month (and maybe ours) and that your crib is full, your nursing chair in action at all hours of day and night, that the bathroom gets all splashed, that your family is all snuggled up in soft warm towels (after a poo explosion!), and that your dream come true. I’m too scared to dream anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

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