So here we find ourselves again waiting for ovulation. We’ve been here before, waiting and hoping. It’s been such a difficult few weeks; somehow timing is not on our side, when I got my period we were getting ready to go to a wedding. After the tears I had to get ready and paint on a smile for the day. It was still only light bleeding so there was still potential, Sunday I had to go to work, but I was able to switch off somehow. By Monday it was all over; I got heavy bleeding and intense cramps. I was in a foul mood too, I couldn’t bear to speak with anyone, I was longing for a week of working from home but instead I had to deal with the irritations that come with being in the office; and I didn’t handle them well. I’m glad that I know one of my team well enough that she just knew what would be wrong, she was a great support that week. As I was working early shift the hubby suggested that we start going for little runs together, not the training runs I was doing for my half marathons but just gentle runs. It certainly made me feel a little better.
Wednesday I had my appointment with my Doctor, who was supportive although our referral to the fertility clinic isn’t immediate we are going through the tests to check hormone levels are what they should be, hubby also has been recommended a test on a sample but we are waiting to see where to take the sample to.
By Friday I was coming out of my gloomy cloud and it was bearable. Saturday was made even more bearable as I was able to stick my headphones in and just get on with my work.
Sunday was a nice day, we woke up had breakfast, went for a little jog. We spent most of the day pottering around and listening to music. In the evening I get a call from my brother, who had news that his wife is 7 weeks pregnant. Which of course is great news, I mean I’m going to be a aunty; but I’m just numb. My emotions are swimming and I’m exhausted. I feel guilty that I’m gutted, that I thought when we got this news we would already be on our journey. I feel guilty that my mum and sister were worried about me and couldn’t enjoy the moment. I feel guilty that my brother was even worried about telling me. I know I’ll get through this, I hope that we can finally have some happy news soon so that we can all enjoy the moment together.
The Doctor advised to stay as calm and relaxed as possible I’ve found it difficult this week. I’ve been in a daze, literally staring into space for who knows how long. I think my get up and go, got up and went. I have found some constructive things to do, I’ve made numerous playlists, I’ve rearranged the kitchen cupboards, done my nails and done another foot mask.
This week is what I have labelled pee-on-a-stick-week, testing for ovulation every morning, I only have 4 sticks left for my dual hormone kit so I’m trying to hold off using them until I get a stronger line on the one step strips. So far, its faint line but the oh so glamorous task of checking my cervix is revealing that it is now soft and high.
That’s something new I’m doing this month, and I have read up on what the signs mean.
The position and texture of your cervix will change during your cycle:
- During menstrual bleeding, the cervix is normally low and hard and slightly open to allow the blood to flow out. It feels like the tip of your nose.
- After your period stops, the cervix remains low and hard and the opening to the uterus (uterine os) remains closed.
- As you approach ovulation, the cervix rises up to the top of the vagina and becomes softer and moister.
- At the height of ovulation, the cervix feels more like your lips than your nose and the uterine os is open to allow sperm to enter in. Sometimes the cervix seems to disappear – which just means it has become so soft that it blends in with the vagina walls and rises so high that the finger cannot touch it. This is known as SHOW – soft, high, open and wet. This is your most fertile time and is the optimal time to have sex to achieve pregnancy.
- Once ovulation occurs, the cervix drops lower and becomes more firm – once again feeling like the tip of your nose. The opening to the uterus will become tightly closed. This can happen immediately after ovulation or may take several hours to several days.
- When pregnancy occurs, the cervix will rise up and become soft, yet the os will remain tightly closed. This occurs at different times for different women – as early as 12 days after ovulation or well after the pregnancy has been confirmed by a home pregnancy test or doctor.
Quote from Fertility Authority website.
It’s amazing the things that I’ve got this far in life without being aware of them, I learn something new every month.
Skip to Friday morning where I get a positive OPK and a static smiley on my clear blue test. It’s earlier than normal. My temperatures haven’t been following the trending pattern I’ve had for the last few months.
So we now play the waiting game to see if we have a rise over the next few days. It is frustrating that I can only use everything else I have learnt to guess when ovulation has actually happened but I never know it actually has until 3 days after it has. So we have to take a leap of faith to help time it right-hand of course think positive.